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Friday, July 29, 2005
There are days when it is just unavoidable. It does not matter what causes it - it could be the evil green mist, a nagging sibling, a hot day, an unwanted lunch, an extra long line at the store or what have you. It only matters that the inevitable occurs on a daily basis.
As mothers, we feel it is our duty to our children to prevent the catastrophic event from ever inflicting their little lives. But we fail. Miserably. For no matter how much we bribe with candy or treats or coloring books or promises of a trip to the park or to the mall or anywhere but where you currently are - we fail. Miserably. The scream ALWAYS still comes.
Anyone who has spent just two hours with a child can relate. When you need to run errands, or you are getting ready to take an extended trip in the family vehicle ... you begin preparing. You think of every possible minute problem that could cause even one tiny wrinkle in those little faces and you plan accordingly. You feed them, change their diapers, give them their favorite toys, bring juice boxes and snacks, books to read, puzzles to do, crayons to draw. You are SUPERMOM! You've thought of everything and covered all the bases.
HA!
The first 30 minutes or so go fine. They are wiggling in their seats, getting comfortable, while looking out the windows at the passing scenery. That grows old after about 30 seconds. On to the toys. That lasts about 20 seconds. Rip out the books and color. Another 20 seconds. We offer a snack or some juice .... the little people in the back are appeased and you smile to yourself once again. What a false sense of security. The temperature is a balmy 79 degrees outside. A beautiful day for a drive. The daddy figure says he needs to make a 'quick stop' so you and the children decide to wait in the car. 5 minutes turns into 10 minutes. Quiet complaints are beginning to eminate from the back seat of the vehicle. The temperature inside the vehicle - even with the windows down - has escalated. Toys are thrown across the seat at the other child which are then promptly whipped back at the original culprit, narrowly missing the head but hitting the window instead. Thankfully nothing is broken. 10 minutes turn into 15 minutes. You are beginning to feel the panic rise in your throat. Your mouth becomes dry. The noise from the back seat of the car is rising steadily. You try to attempt peace offerings. Toys, snacks, drinks, anything that will keep them quiet. Any items offered in peace by YOU becomes a potential weapon to maime, hurt or kill the OTHER with.
It does not work.
You have reached the point of no return.
You know it is coming. You are helpless to stop it. You turn around in your seat and look out the front window, holding your breath. Knowing it is only a matter of time until you hear ...
THE SCREAM.
It is no ordinary scream. It comes from the bottom of their souls and is loud enough to wake the dead and bust the ear drums of the living. You cringe as people passing by look at you as if you are an ax murderer. You turn around and whisper - loudly - ENOUGH ALREADY! Don't make me have your father turn this car around and take you home. 20 minutes have now gone by on his "just a minute" trip.
With tears streaming and blood-curdling screams coming from the back seat from both of the demon spawn now, you have almost reached the limit where you will join them in screaming bloody murder at the top of your lungs.
The spawn then spot Daddy coming back to the car. The tears magickally disappear, the screaming stops, and the angelic look returns once again as if nothing was wrong.
Daddy gets back in the car and says, "Everything alright while I was gone?" to which the spawn in the back reply, "Mommy yelled at us Daddy!" The Daddy slowly turns to look at you and asks, "What did you yell at them for? They look like they were behaving themselves..."
You stare out the front window and contemplate what jail would be like for the rest of your life. You certainly wouldn't have to hear the scream ever again.
It's a thought.
Posted at 05:31 pm by Kimmi
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005
No. Is that such a hard word to understand? How about "stop" or "quit" ... is it something about my voice that just doesn't register with the human brain perhaps?
I have instructed the eldest male spawn close to, if not over, a 100 times today to stop picking at the youngest male spawn ... or to quit teasing the youngest male spawn ... or to stop hitting, punching or attempting to throw the youngest male spawn ... all actions which caused the youngest male spawn to scream at the top of his lungs (evil green mist patterns kicking in) and thus giving the mother figure a major headache.
Playtime is Playtime. Lunch time and Dinner time are for consuming food and nourishment for young bodies to grow and develop and become strong and healthy. They know this. They have had it drilled into their heads on a daily basis. Today was no exception. They were literally attempting to crawl across the table and stab each other with their forks to see who could "kill" the other first.
I am, once again, without cigarettes and becoming increasingly aggitated. Not to mention that mother nature decided to pay a visit - both inside and out (its raining outside and storming ... you can figure the inside part for yourself) and add a nice little headache on top of it all and you can plainly see the mother figure is in a "do not even think about messing with me" mood.
The father figure doesn't get that. The mother figure understands completely how very frustrated he is at the moment and understands completely his worries about the family financial situation. She has also told him that she understands more times then can be counted. (Definitely more then 100!) However, he still sees fit to give the mother figure grief over a box of tampons. What kind? What size? Do they have sizes? How much? Where are they? We've been thru this a million times since he won't let me drive his precious truck and go to the store myself and I would rather sit at home then ride to the store with him and endure the "timeclock" on how long it takes me in the store - regardless of how many other folks are in there. So he's been having to purchase them. I continually repeated, "get the cheapest box there - it doesn't matter. Just bring them home quickly." I think I said it 5x before it finally sunk in.
Sometimes I really wonder about the mentality of God when she created mankind. She should have just left it at womankind and been done with it.
Life would be so much easier.
Posted at 08:03 pm by Kimmi
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Friday, July 22, 2005
Murphy's Law Twilight Zone
I honestly and truly believe that I have fallen into the Murphy's Law Twilight Zone. What? You didn't know such a thing existed? Honey child, I live in it EVERY SINGLE DAY!
In the middle of the night, an evil green mist oozes throughout my house, creeping down the hallway to the children's bedrooms ... where it slowly slides up the side of the bed and into their mouths and noses as they sleep soundly in their beds. When they awake in the morning, the evil green mist is programmed to alter their brain patterns and cause them to scream at the top of their lungs ... about everything. Happy, sad, playing, mad ... it doesn't matter. Everything has to be done at full volume. It also tunes their brains into the precise actions that will cause the other children around them to go ballistic ... be it teasing, chasing, running from, turning lights off, stealing toys ... it doesn't matter. You can separate them till the cows come home. They still gravitate back to each other to torment and cause the screaming to escalate. The evil green mist also has protective slim within its makeup to allow the children to scream at the top of their lungs for a straight 24 hour period without getting hoarse or losing their voices.
And the evil green mist isn't confined to just the home. Oh no! That would be too friggin SIMPLE. The evil green mist has to permeate every single minute pore of your LIFE. It seeps into the homes of your bill collectors, your utility company employees' homes, your landlord's home, your employer's home ... it leaves no stone unturned. For (heaven forbid!) should the children suddenly become immune to the evil green mist, it must be certain to invade all other aspects of your life as well. It CERTAINLY wouldn't want you to have a nice, calm, peaceful day for a change. That would be unheard of.
It also seeps into the brains of spouses and renders them blithering idiots. You can tell them something 100 times and they will ALWAYS come back 5 minutes later and ask you the SAME question that you just answered ... causing you to repeat yourself for the 101 time. But it doesn't stop there. It continues.
On ...
and on ...
and on ...
and on ...
until you yourself have become a blithering idiot (which is the evil green mist's ultimate goal). You slowly begin to loose your mind ... your hair begins to turn white and fall out ... the screaming from the children grates on your nerves so horrifically that you want to just scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs until you make them stop ... but they don't. It continues on and on and on ... until you are found one morning -- surrounded by the evil green mist -- with glazed over eyes and a straightjacket as your only attire.
Welcome to Murphy's Law Twilight Zone.
Welcome to Motherhood.
Posted at 09:27 pm by Kimmi
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Ready to Scream .... But Good News Too
Long story short - thankfully John was able to keep the lights on. I'm now looking for anyone, someone, who will take two extremely overactive boys for a week ... maybe longer. I need a vacation LOL! Will write more tomorrow.
My lovely daughter called to tell me she's been promoted to the DIRECTOR at the camp!!! I'm so excited for her!!! Not clear on all the details but she's going to be making more money for the next 2 or 3 weeks ... then camp will be over and she'll be back home again and getting ready for 11th grade ... yikes!
Night all!
Posted at 08:56 pm by Kimmi
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Monday, July 18, 2005
Depressed Isn't Even the Word ...
I hate Virginia Power. With a passion. We are scheduled for disconnect tomorrow morning if the $179 that is past due is not paid today. I have asked, begged, pleaded and cried for them to just give me till Friday and I would pay the whole god damn thing then. They won't even budge. 4 fucking days and they won't budge an inch. I hate them with a passion. They act so fucking holier-than-thou ... like they NEVER have financial problems crop up from time to time ... like they never live from paycheck to paycheck ... What the fuck is the problem with giving somebody 4 DAMN DAYS??? I hate them - severely. If I were the off-balance type (which they are seriously pushing me towards!) I'd find me an automatic rifle and just go on a rampage. I actually wish I had the guts to do it ... but I'm too much of a wimp to ever do something like that. But it's nice to think about it when they piss you off, ya know? Friggin jerks ... no, they're all WANKERS ... that's what they are. One time the word actually does apply to this group of people.
Social Services isn't returning my calls ... been calling them since last week ... PGCAA won't help, they don't have the funds.
Damned if I do and damned if I don't. So I'm just going to go thru the rest of the mail I have on the computer ... already sent a notice out to my TBK groups that I'm going special notices this evening ... and just have to let them cut the phone and the electric off and pay them in full when we can. Definitely won't be able to pay the bills in full by the 22nd - it'll take longer for the PIF bills ... so heaven only knows how long we'll be without electric and phone service.
If ever there was a time we needed a miracle .. now would be it.
So this is good-bye for now. Catch you all later - whenever later might be.
Posted at 02:10 pm by Kimmi
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Thursday, July 14, 2005
Now I'm down in the dumps. Apparently I used a not so nice term the other day when I was joking with someone about always getting tags before me. The term is one I have used over and over again to describe someone/something that gets on ones nerves ... hell, I use it in connection with my two sons all the time. But - as I learned today - when I went to look up the "real" meaning of the word I found that it meant something entirely different ... and now I'm really upset. I've known this person for years and would never hurt her. I consider her a very good friend. But I did, in fact, hurt her feelings if the posts I received were any indication of that.
So I have apologized ... twice. And I am now going to go crawl under my rock and stay there for awhile. I'm glad I'm on special notices in all my groups right now. I apparently don't know how to play nice with others ...
Posted at 08:12 am by Kimmi
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Wednesday, July 13, 2005
This has made the e-mail circuit quite a few times (that I've seen anyway) but I am thrilled that it found its way to my inbox once again ... because, my dear friends, these are MY children. It may not have been written with them in mind ... but these are MY two boys - through and through!
For those of you with no children - you'll think it's hysterical. But be afraid ... be very afraid. And then get on the phone and make an appointment with your gynecologist to get on birth control. Trust me. DO IT NOW.
For those who already have children that have grown past this stage - you'll look back on what YOUR children did as well and find it hysterical. To you I blow raspberries.
For those of you with children this age or approaching this age ... it is not funny. It is a warning. Take it, read it, learn it - make it your mantra. You'll thank me later for the warning. Trust me.
-- A king size waterbed will hold enough water to fill a 2000 square foot home four inches deep.
-- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades - they CAN ignite.
-- A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant (believe it)
-- If you hook a dog leash over the ceiling fan, the motor is NOT strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman/Superman/Spiderman underwear and a cape. It, however, IS strong enough if tied to a paint can to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 foot room.
-- You should NOT throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
-- The glass in windows (even double-pane) does NOT stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan (I suggest removing all ceiling fans until the children are teenagers - honestly)
-- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh" being uttered - it's already too late (no matter how old the child)
-- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox will make smoke. Lots of smoke.
-- A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
-- Certain Legos TM will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
-- Playdough and microwave should NOT be used in the same sentence. Don't think we need to elaborate on THAT one.
-- Super Glue is forever. Really.
-- No matter how much Jello you put into a swimming pool - you stll cannot walk on water.
-- Pool filters do NOT like Jello.
-- VCRs do NOT eject peanut butter and jelly sandwiches - even though the television commercials show that they do. (They don't eject ham sandwiches either ... or hot dogs ... or Cheetos. Trust me on this).
-- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. Capes yes. Parachutes no.
-- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
-- Don't try to find the odor. You really don't want to know what it is. Buy stock in Febreeze.
-- Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
-- The fire department in Austin, Texas, has a 5-minute response time. (I think each city has a section of the fire department dedicated just for mothers with children. They have received special, extensive training in these matters. They are called "dads who work at the fire department")
-- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
-- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
-- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
-- Cats cannot survive a cycle in the dryer to "fluff them up" - really. Don't ask.
-- 60% of the men who may read this WILL try mixing Clorox and brake fluid together ... proving that some kids never grow up.
Posted at 03:22 pm by Kimmi
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Today is my Mama's birthday!!! Happy Birthday Mama! I hope you have many, many more wonderful years to celebrate on this earth.
I was finally able to tell Mama about her birthday page last night ... I've been chomping at the bit since last week waiting to be able to tell her LOL. Lots of love and time went into trying to make it as special as possible. I did some internet research on Mama ... found quite a few of her works out there ... and found a couple of friends from her past as well with the help of husband, George, and her classmates. Thank you George for helping me out!
It isn't elaborate ... it didn't cost a king's ransom to do ... but it comes from the heart and it is made with loads of love. From my experience - those are the best kinds of presents to receive. The kind you can't buy in stores that come from the heart.
So Mama, here's hoping that you like your present and that your birthday today is filled with love, joy and happiness today and every day! Love you!!!
Posted at 07:36 am by Kimmi
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Monday, July 11, 2005
Well ... I told him ... and, as expected - he twisted everything I said around till I ended up looking like the bad guy again ... somehow I'm pushing HIM and working against HIM. What the fuck ever ... do I know him or what? So I'm off to bed with a killer headache from screaming at him ... and then having to comfort Jonathan who was crying because I was so upset with daddy ... fuckin a man ... just doesn't pay some days.
Posted at 11:49 pm by Kimmi
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I think I'm just having one of those Mondays from hell today. Tre just woke up ... not a good 3 minutes ago, and tried to come out here in the kitchen and snatch the magic marker off the table that JJ left there (black no less) and write all over himself with it. I, naturally, took the marker from him and told him, "No baby ... you can't play with this ... it isn't a toy." To which he proceeded to yell and scream at me like somebody gone completely and totally mad and insane. He's been doing that a lot lately ... the yelling and screaming and balling his little fists up and getting MAJORLY pissed at the least little thing. I proceeded to take him right back to bed and told him he could just stay there until he wanted to calm down and be rational.
When John gets home this evening, I'm going out. I'm going to take the dog and just Ben and I are going to go for a walk and enjoy this beautiful day that we've been given. I'm going to salvage something nice from it ... even if it kills me.
I've gone special notices in all of my groups save the ones I own and moderate ... I enjoy the back and forth banter and all the wonderful stuff that is shared ... but I've got some projects I want to work on and I have some other things around the house that I want to do as well ... so I'm taking a break from the Yahoo circuit. I have creating that I want to do ... not to mention making some new pretties for the web site ... and I want to learn how to do some different types of html coding and learn some more about cascading style sheets and the like ... which will require some time to research and then play around with till I get what is in my head onto the computer screen and operational.
Not to mention getting my business site, Virtual Assistant Professional & Legal Services, back up and running again. It may not be much ... but I think if I really concentrate on my sites and getting them going I'll be able to pull in some money to help us get back on our feet again. It's a thought.
I need a vacation anyway. If I can't take one from home and the kids ... least I can take a break from the 700+ emails to go through every day.
Off to finish the laundry and the dishes and cleaning out what's left of the mail ... I'm sure I won't be posting more again today.
Well ... one never knows with me! (wink wink)
And ... totally off topic here ... I am chomping at the bit here waiting for Wednesday to get here. Have you ever had a secret - a GOOD secret mind you - that you wanted to share with somebody but you had to wait until a particular date or time to tell them? It is driving me absolutely batty ... the one time when I really DO want time to fly ... feels like its moving slow as a southern breeze LOL!
Sigh ... okay ... done babbling now ... I'm off to do the aforementioned chores. Yay ... what fun!
Posted at 04:59 pm by Kimmi
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TBK Designs at Yahoo
Everything inside me feels inside out
I could smile but I’ve got nothing to smile about
But I can see happiness
And it’s just outside my reach
I could probably stay just a minute longer
I would stay but I’ve got nothing I have found here
And I know I don’t belong
This place is just not for me
I know I’ve got no reason to not fit in here
I could stay longer I know comfort is so near
But I can’t take the pain
Of the time that’s in between
Everything around me is fading so fast
I don’t want to be the one who fades last
And I can’t comprehend
What this is doing to me
When I look at the sky I look too slowly
I think about nothing but I think I’m hoping
Things will come to me
And I’ll feel something new
All I ever wanted was understanding
I look back and see that it’s not about me
And I don’t know where
To start or what I can do
Poetry by Andrea
STILL I RISE
by Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
PHENOMENAL WOMAN
by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
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